A Daughters Letter

A mother enters her daughter’s bedroom and sees a letter
on the bed. With the worst premonition, she reads it, with
trembling hands:

Dear Mom,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m telling you
that I have eloped with my new boyfriend. I found real
passion and he is so nice, even with all his piercing and
tattoos, and I love riding on the back of his big
motorcycle. But it’s not only that mom, I’m pregnant and
Ahmed said that we will be very happy in his trailer in
the woods. He wants to have many more children with me and
that’s one of my dreams. I’ve learned that marijuana
doesn’t hurt anyone and we’ll be growing it for us and his
friends, who are providing us with all the cocaine and
ecstasy we may want. In the meantime, we’ll pray for
science to find the AIDS cure, for Ahmed to get better, he
deserves it. Don’t worry Mom, I’m 15 years old now and I
know how to take care of myself. Some day I’ll visit so
you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your daughter,


PS: Mom, it’s not true. I’m next door at Sandy’s. I just
wanted to show you that there are worse things in life
than my report card that’s in my desk drawer…I love you!

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