60 above – Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wooly hats.
Canadian people sunbathe.
50 above – New Yorkers try to turn on the heat.
Canadian people plant gardens.
40 above – Italian cars won’t start.
Canadian people drive with the windows down.
32 above – Distilled water freezes.
Lake Ontario’s water gets thicker.
20 above – Californians shiver uncontrollably.
Canadian people have the last cookout before it gets cold.
15 above – New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
Canadian people throw on a sweatshirt.
0 degrees – Californians fly away to Mexico.
Canadian people lick the flagpole and throw on a light jacket over the sweatshirt.
20 below – People in Miami cease to exist.
Canadian people get out their winter coats.
40 below – Hollywood disintegrates.
Canada’s Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door.
50 below – Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Canadian people get frustrated when they can’t thaw the keg.
60 below – Microbial life survives on dairy products.
Canadian cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
460 below – ALL atomic motion stops.
Canadian people start saying. . .”Cold ’nuff for ya??”
500 below – Hell freezes over.
The Toronto Blue Jays win the World Series